I read the chapter in my psychiatry textbook about mood disorders and I swear I’m an experiential learner. My mood has been up and especially down during the last couple of days. I’m trying to write an essay about Osteopathic history and it is hard to reign myself in when I start going off on my rants. Its good to have a guiding topic to focus on to keep me in line.
I think I strained the muscles around my hip during yoga a couple of weeks ago (so much for the peace of mind!) and I keep telling myself I have to sign myself up for a OMT session with one of the fabulous DOs at the clinic, but I so damn shy!! Grrrr. Then that brings up my shyness with patients and my anxiety about wanting to do OMT, but not trusting myself to be able to help. Its ridiculous. I go round and round until I get dizzy. During the Tuesday when we have clinic I simply focus on landmarks, common diagnoses and “treat” with various modalities I’ve grown comfortable with, but I feel like I’m short-changing the patient. I may be making a difference, but I’m not diagnosing the primary lesion/restriction, treat that and then move to the next. I feel so inadequate. It’s awful. I’m such an advocate for Osteopathy but then I can’t even DO it!! I’m a ridiculous oxymoron. I know it just takes seeing lots of patients and I’ll get there eventually, but I wish I was there NOW!!
So impatient….and full of “buts”. Oh lord.
I’m going dancing all weekend!!! 
