Archive for November, 2007

Kids…gotta love ’em!

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Gratitude

I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have supportive friends.  My natural tendency is to distance myself from people and compartmentalize friendships so that I never spend too much time with any specific person.  I broke through a barrier today.

I’m not the best with my finances.  I prefer to have too much money and then live fairly frugally so I don’t have to pay attention to every nickel and dime (forget budgeting!).  Unfortunately, I got to the point of counting pennies this weekend.  I didn’t want to ask my parents for more money beause they have already been so helpful and supportive of me.   My younger sister is not exactly financially secure and rather difficult to get in touch with.  My older sister holds a sense of resentment towards me when I ask for money.  Even though she has plenty to share, I think she resents being the oldest and always the financially-responsible one.   One of my aunts was a possibility, but I needed a couple of hundred bucks ASAP and she was back in NH.

So this brought me to a classmate and friend.  She knew I was struggling financially a month ago and offered to let me borrow some money.  I was reasonably okay at the time, simply not buying much groceries and I thought my loan would be coming in any moment.  I realized this weekend that the loan would not be here in time to pay for my insurance and phone bill, so I asked to take her up on her earlier offer.  Now I can rest easy that the automatic deduction will not bounce AND I was able to buy contact lens solution!  Yeah!!  THANK YOU!!

Although I am not looking forward to the insane hours of residency, it will be fabulous to receive a regular check!!

Holy Accurate

Found myself in a bit of turmoil today.  It is incredible the horoscope below was in my inbox.  Of course, I haven’t paid too much attention to all the other horoscopes that had nothing to do with how I was actually feeling.  Still, Mars is on my assent in Leo, so it is a powerful planet for me.

“Mars turns retrograde starting November 15.

Mars turns retrograde once every two years. And when it does, as with any retrograde period, it’s time to review events already set in motion. Since Mars is going retrograde in the emotionally intense water sign Cancer, make sure you pay attention to your feelings, including instincts and hunches. Actions are now governed by your heart and gut, rather than by logic. If something doesn’t feel right to you, stop, review and make necessary corrections. Remember to pace yourself, since you will be in the review process until January 30 of next year! That’s plenty of time to prepare for putting plans into action once Mars turns direct.”

Paper Art

My favorite is the humming bird and flower, although they’re all pretty clever and require amazing talent.

http://www.media-post.net/paper_art.php

Spiritual Science :)

This past week I received my first transcribed talk on the “Science of the Soul”.  The name in and of itself tickles my tummy.  Who ever heard of Soul Science?  And it fits rather well with AT Still’s philosophy!!  Then I read the foreword, which proposed this talk is for “all persons who are seekers after the Truth…longing for Self-Knowledge and God-Knowledge”, and I knew I found something I’ve been looking for for nearly 15 years.  There are 2 very important points that separate this talk from any other books I’ve read on spirituality: 1) it encourages people to seek personal spiritual experiences provided by a Master rather have blind faith, 2) I have friends who grew up in this spiritual path and they attend occasional weekend retreats with a Master.  This gives me tremendous hope that I have found a spiritual practice that is very individual with opportunities to meet with friends to discuss it as well as experience retreats with Masters.

One more aspect that perfectly appeals to me is the practice of meditation and out-of-body experiences, which are their way of preparing for death, which somehow makes living more tolerable.  I wonder if depressed/suicidal people are those who are most in need of spiritual connection because they crave death (life is intolerable).  If they had a regular connection with the spiritual realm, maybe they would have enough courage to continue with life.

Expansion

I had a good giggle with a classmate the other day.  I was showing him the monitoring strip for a woman not in labor because he hasn’t done OB yet.  The “tocometer” reading indicates when a patient is having a contractions, indicated by a gradual peak and decline.  The patient wasn’t contracting, so there weren’t any contraction peaks to show him.  I did find a “dip” in the reading that looked like an upside-down contraction peak.  I promptly philosophized about the chance that the uterus could be expanding rather than contracting!!  We had some good belly laughs, an activity sorely lacking in medicine!

Thank God for Work

I had a difficult time getting up this morning.  You’d think since we gained an hour this weekend that I’d be refreshed especially since the sun was up before me.  However, I was partially sick this weekend, recovering from a late late Friday night delivering more babies.  I also had bizarre dreams about death and sexual perversion.  Once again, I found myself dead and rejoicing in my state.  There is something about life that I am not completely tied to.  I have this intangible feeling I am lacking something that normal, high-functioning people seem to have, which is why I am grateful to have a “job” to go to.  If I never had to get up, I never would.  Once I get up and get going, I’m okay.  Sometimes I even get a glimpse of the zestiness in life I admire in people.  Most of the time, I’m just biding my time until I can return to the natural state of life: without a body, mind or emotions.  Pure spirit.  Sigh.

Babies!!

Believe it or not, I’m starting to feel like a real doctor.  Actually, it is kind of like an out of body experience.  I delivered my first baby with the help of a supervising physician today.  9lbs 5oz baby boy, BIG head, blue and floppy for a minute.   Mom didn’t tear her perineum because I did such a good job holding it in place while the baby came through! So much was happening, yet I managed to remain calm.  The doc I worked with was a very competent family practioner, answered my questions when I had the where-with-all to put a question together and she pushed me enough to get me in there and involved, but not to the point where I felt like I was over my head.  I’m still in a bit of shock, but I loved it!

Every so often I wondered what the DO in Ohio does during labor- specific Osteopathic manipulation techniques beyond the tradition OB techniques to help with problems during birth.  I also thought of the story I heard about a DO doing cranial on a baby while it was still on the perineum…wow.