Archive for January, 2008

Planetary advice

This is a dynamic, event-filled week. Begin by reviewing your ideas and plans as Mercury turns retrograde on January 28. You will find that certain circumstances or events start to snowball as Mars turns direct on January 30. Ready or not, be prepared to leap — not look!

In particular, Mercury’s placement in Aquarius promises plenty of exciting conversations. This is also the time to think outside of the box and leave any old or outmoded concepts behind. Mercury is in a trine aspect to Mars in Gemini, lending you energy and support. Just watch out for acting prematurely — you might wind up too far ahead of yourself!

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Osteopathic Neurologist

Well, goodness it is lovely to receive compliments about this blog. I have not been writing much lately, mostly for various reasons. I had a devastating holiday fighting with my sister and my leaving, spending the holidays alone. On the positive side I’m enjoying my pediatric rotation. The Dr. I work with is extremely knowledgeable and he has laughter-lines on his face (a sign of a good person). He makes me want to study, which I’ve been doing and that’s a good thing.

My extreme distaste for OB has placed my career on a new trajectory. I was planning on family practice with OMT, but even if I didn’t do OB, I’d have to deal with contraception, STD’s, etc and I just don’t want anything to do with sex. I also want to be able to spend time with patients and not 15min appts, constantly writing notes. My most favoritest class in my first 2 years was neuroanatomy, followed by anatomy. I’m fascinated by the complexity of the nervous system, its interconnection to all parts of the body. In my mind it is absolutely necessary to understand the nervous system to adequately practice and explain Osteopathy to patients and MD’s.

So, my new career path has found me heading towards becoming a neurologist, an Osteopathic Neurologist of course. There are only 6 AOA Neurology programs and the BEST one is located in Dayton, OH. I’ll be heading out there to visit in March. I really believe I’ve found my calling, which is incredible and scary. I still need to talk to more people in the field, but I’d be hard-pressed to find any reason NOT to pursue Neurology. Besides all the procedures I’ll learn (LP, EEG, EMG, etc) in residency, I plan to take an extra year after residency to do a fellowship in OMT, so I can help my patients beyond simply providing my “expert” opinion, poking and prodding them and adjusting medications. I can help them function optimally.

Dam Life

 This is a rough draft of a short story I created today.  There are bound to be inconsistencies, grammatical errors and poor word choices, but it contains the essence of what I needed to get onto “paper”.  It is rather long.

“Mommy, look!”  Yana said excitedly as she pointed to sprays of water flying above the dam.  “I saw the Water!”

“Yes dear.  That’s nice,” Yana’s mother said half-heartedly as she tended to the garden.

“Where does the Water come from?” Yana asked

“The water comes from behind the damn,” mother replied

“Why?”  “Because that is where the Water is kept.”  “Why is the Water kept behind the dam?”  “Because if it was released, it would flod the land and wash us all away.”  “Why?”  “Because the Water is powerful.”  “Why?”  “Because it is kept behind the dam.”  “Would it still be powerful if it was not behind the damn?”  At this point Yana’s mother stood up and looked at Yana in disgust.  She was tired of the 20 questions and working hard in the garden.  Truth be told, Yana’s mother didn’t know the answer to her daughter’s question and this irritated her more than Yana asking the question.  Still, she replied with hostility, “The water is powerful because it is kept behind the dam!  Now run along before I get very upset.”

Yana ran from her mother working in the garden , slightly afraid she had angered her mother, but more curious than ever about the dam.  Instinctively she headed to her favorite hiding place, in the bushes and grasses next to the puddle that collects beneath the dam.  It was a cool and quiet place no one else seemed like.  Sometimes she would lay real still and listen to the Water on the other side of the dam, but more often than not she would play house with her pretend friends, inviting them to dinner and making a grand meal, never realizing that her location of play was so close to something so powerful as the Water.

On this day when her mother scolded her for asking too many questions, Yana ran straight to the dam and looked at it.  She looked at it in a whole new way.  She saw the gray cement smoothly plastered, wondering how thick it was.  She say the trickle of overflow that made its way to her puddle where she would pretend to fish.  She saw the sprays of water that occasionally flew over the dam.  And today she decided it was time to see the Water.

First she grabbed a stick and started hitting the dam as hard as she could, partly out of anger and fear from her mother’s scolding, but also out of desperation because she had no idea what else to do.  Since she made no progress attacking the dam directly, she started scraping at the dirt lying at the base of the dam, hoping that maybe she could tunnel beneath the dam.  Her little fingers began to hurt as the sun was going down and she heard a distant cry from her mother saying the dinner was ready.  Yana gave up her pursuit of the Water for the night, heading home with a heavy heart.

The next morning after breakfast Yana made a bee line for the dam.  When she say the stick had been using the previous evening and the tiny hole she had dug compared to the overall immensity of the dam, her heart dwindled even further.  Giving up her dreams of seeing the Water as a futile effort, Yana settled herself in the grass, looking up to the sky and closed her eyes.  The illusion of sleep crept over her as she lay there when she started to feel an energy or vibration about the air she had never experienced.  All the hairs on her arm stood on end, sweat pored off her body, her heart beat faster and every muscle in her body started to twitch in small fasciculations as if dancing to a tune with a rapid beat.  Yana was almost to the point of panicking, but something in the experience made her not feel alarmed.  She kept her eyes closed to see what else would come.  Slowly, she became aware of the smell; the warm moist smell of impending rain.  She noticed the gentle breeze of the morning gave way to the gusty wind borne out before a storm and finally, she opened her eyes to see the blades of grass all around her swaying in a frantic dance, partially blocking her view of an ominous sky.  The clouds were dark, yet they had a tinge of light still on them from the sun.  Yana sat up and simply felt the energy of the coming storm.  She felt comfortable, her hair tossing in the wind and yet her body staying securely placed upon the ground.

The first lightening strike was out of sight, on the other side of the dam.  The thunder that followed seemed to rumble up from the gutters of the earth and never really ended.  Then she realized the water behind the dam was making a rumbling of its own that partially masked the thunder.  She looked up at the dam and saw spray upon spray of water arching over the dam, misting her face.  Faintly, Yana could hear her mother calling to her, hoping to get her daughter to safety before the rain began.  Yet Yana could not talk her eyes off the dam.  The she had asked her mother too many questions about, the dam she tried to break yesterday, and, she thought of the Water behind the dam, churning and bubbling and sending droplets by the dozen.  The dam invoked a curiosity in Yana, questioning its very existence, yet it seemed impenetrable and it irritated her mother to be asking so many questions about it.

As Yana contemplated the dam, another bolt of lightening struck, waking her from her trance.   She turned away from the dam and ran towards home.  By this time the sun was gone and she didn’t really want to get stuck in the rain, no matter how connected she felt.  The wind blew stronger, almost blowing her off balance, but her little legs found solid footing.  Another bolt of lightening struck just as the first few rain drops fell.  A loud smacking of thunder immediately followed, which Yana had learned meant the storm was directly over her.  She ran a little harder.  The rumbling from the thunder continued, combined with the rain and wind, she was so disconcerted that she fell to her knees.  Before she rose to her feet, she felt the earth was shaking, which may have also contributed to her fall.  She wondered if there was also an earthquake occurring even though they were highly uncommon in her area.  She was getting close to home and could hear her mother still yelling for her, but her words were swiftly swallowed by the wind.  For a moment, Yana’s mother was quiet.  Yana thought it was because she saw Yana was almost home, but a second later her mother screeched horribly.  Yana looked up at her mother and saw she was looking past Yana.  Yana paused in her race towards home and comfort to look behind her.

The old riverbed below the dam was comprised of large boulders and trickles of overflow Water.  During rain storms and for days later it wasn’t unusual for there to be a significant amount of gurgling Water.  However, the reason Yana’s mother screamed was because the Water had already filled the riverbed after only minutes of rain and boulders that had be in they’re same places since Yana could remember were slowing moving down river from the force of the water.  Yana was once again mesmerized by the forces of nature, specifically the forces of water to be able to do move these boulders like marbles.  Yana’s mother grabbed Yana and pulled her towards the house as the Water breached the banks and began crawling over the lawn towards their house.

Once inside, Yana’s mother barred the door, shut the shutters, clasped her hands and fell to the floor mumbling s prayer.  Yana went to the window and opened the shutter to look at the Water.  Yana’s mother came over and slapped her hand and shut the sutter and went back to her prayer.  Yana sat by the window and listened to the rain, thunder and roaring of the river.  Slowly, she opened the shutter to peak at the Water.  She could hardly believe her eyes when she say the water was flowing over where the garden had been, with only a few tomato stakes left to remember what had once been.  Another 5 feet and the water would be lapping at their doorsteps!  Yana didn’t understand why her mother was on her knees praying when they should be doing something or going somewhere.  She started to panic.   She pulled on her mother’s sleeve, “Mommy!  What are we going to do?  The water is coming so high!”  Her mother continued to mumble a prayer with her eyes closed.  “Mommy!  We need to do something!  Don’t just sit there!”  “Quiet Yana.  When death is upon us, we need to prepare.  Pray with me.”  Yana knelt by her mother a began to say the pray she said before bed every night, “Thank you God for all that is good…”, but this didn’t feel right.  She didn’t want to die.  Why was her mother being so obstinate?

Yana looked around the room and started making a plan.  She would grab a bag with an apple and some bread, a blanket and her teddy bear and leave the house, trying to get to higher ground even if her mother won’t.  She gathered up her things and with out a word or movement from her mother, she left the house.  The water was up to her ankles and rising.  She slopped her way around the house, but she didn’t get far when her mother grabbed her elbow.  “Where are you going young lady?”  “I’m leaving.  I don’t want to just sit here and die.  I’m going to higher ground.”  “Higher ground is a mile away.  You’ll never make it.”  “But I want to try!”  “No!  I won’t let you!”  “Why not?”  “Because I’m resigned to die and so should you!”  “NO!”

A deafening roar was rushing towards the mother and daughter, paralyzed mid-struggle.  Looking upstream Yana saw a stampede of water rolling towards them.  Yana’s mother place one foot inside the house and one outside while still holding Yana arm.  Yana yelled, “Let Go!”  No sooner had she yelled, “Let go”, than she felt herself riped from her mother’s grasp by the torrent of Water.  It was terrifying, but also wonderful.  There was nothing she could do now other than ride it out.  Her lungs were already burning from lack of oxygen.  The tumbling sensation disoriented her to which way was up.  she lost hold of her meager bundle of food and comfort.

In time, probably seconds that felt like hours, the chaos eased and she was able to get her head above Water.  Yana hardly recognized her surroundings.  There was water everywhere.  She could see tops of houses that used to be her neighbors and tree tops that tickled her feet.  She had lost a shoe and felt rather whiplashed, but otherwise not discomfort.  The water was dirty from its trip down river and all around her floated trees and wooden boards torn from their houses.  Yana continued to float along, lying on her back, curiously unconcerned that her life had just been flipped upside down.  She thought of her mother and her probable fate of death from all the pressure of the water pushing her against the door jam.  Yana was sad for her mother because she didn’t let go and live, but rather held on to what she had and died.