Archive for Introduction

Hello world!


   I never intended to go to medical, yet here I am finishing up my first year at UNECOM, the Maine Osteopathic medical school.  There is a natural tendency to rebel in all of us and my chosen authority to rebel against was the medical community.  Different people told me stories about the horror they had to deal with in regards to medical treatment, drug side-effects and surgeons removing wrong limbs (I don't actually know anyone who had this happen to them!).  I was also spurred on by a type of underground community that claimed to heal people through means unaccepted in mainstream medicine such as reiki, acupuncture, homeopathy.  These folks fed my fire of rebellion by claiming the medical community has been trying to snuff them out BECAUSE they heal people with no benefit to drug or insurance companies!!

    So, how did I come to end up in medical school?  The lure of becoming a prestigeous and knowledgable doctor who commands respect, my own skepticism of "alternative" medicine, probably a bit of fear about leaving academia (if I stay in school forever, I'll never have to pay off my loans!!), but my ultimate reason for coming to medical school was because of Osteopathic Medicine.  There is an inherent spiritual nature about osteopathic medicine that is lacking in allopathic medicine.  The soul of Osteopathy lies in the humbling understanding that we (physicians) do not cure a patient, we simply facilitate the patient's body's ability to heal itself.

    I was EXTREMELY distressed 2 weeks ago when we were required to watch the movie "Wit" with Leah Thompson, which followed a woman from her diagnosis of ovarian cancer through to her death.  Cancer and Death were the least distressing events in this movie.  What nearly killed me was the young oncologist who cared nothing for the patient or her wishes, only that she remain alive despite the horrendous effects the experimental chemotherapeutic drug was having on her body.  This is precisely why I did not want to go to medical school!  My consolling factors included reminding myself that I am at an Osteopathic school and knowing my classmates, many doctors as well as myself all have caring hearts.

My next question is how does one maintain a gentle caring heart in the midst of ten thousand exams, furiously frustrating FOD lectures (inside joke!), worries about malpractice suits and HUGE loan debts, not to mention eventual diagnosis and treatment of future patients (can you say SOAP note?)? 

 The answer to this question is the purpose of my blog: how I am dealing with it and hopefully comments and insights from others who are feeling the same distress.  At this point I have to (you guessed it!) go study, but I hope to post my recent thoughts soon and continue to add new revelations as they appear before me in my quest for inner peace.